Most people suffer with this in one, some, many or all areas of their lives… It is one of the biggest dream killers there is…
If those people instead all considered, what if I’m right… Then then our whole species would grow at a faster rate than we have ever seen.
Why not choose for a while at least considering instead that you could be right… How does that make you feel…
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In today’s footstep I thought I’d briefly cover criticism and other people…
I am regularly asked how can I handle putting myself out there and opening myself up to other people’s criticism…
Simple, if they think they are right then they are. That’s their choice.
My choice is I think I’m right…
I look at what they say and if they are right I decide if I want to change something or not… As even if they are right then I may still not want to change it…
For example, they are attempting to bring in a law in the UK on having to ride with Bicycle helmets. They are completely right about this, I have no argument that is valid against it…
But I’ll probably do it wrong and break the law, as I like not wearing them when I ride my bike… My choice, and I accept the consequences…
If I was into mountain biking it would be different, but I like a leisurely ride…
My children, they have to wear their helmets… So this is don’t do what I do, do what I say… My choice again…
It’s my choice, and if I look at it from society’s point of view (which is actually the correct view here) I am completely wrong. And, I accept being wrong… I am allowed to be wrong… I can still be me, and BE WRONG!
Though that all said… I don’t want to wear the helmet, so the rebel in me fights it in various ways…🙂
But back to dealing with the people in life who criticise…
So if a person criticises me here on the site, I do not get emotionally attached. I look to see if there’s a benefit to me, and to you in what they’ve said.
If it is objective then it’s fine, if it’s negative then I’ll remove it. As I cover in the Process, there is no point in negativity, objectivity yes. But negativity is ego based and usually comes from a very unconscious mind.
So me choosing to have a go at someone who is unconscious and attempting to bring them to a higher level of consciousness as a result is not something I choose to participate in any more…
Because it’s futile and the person must choose to stop being unconscious before they can be helped, or else I could get sucked into unconsciousness too… As it has somewhat of a gravitational like pull.
Now consider for a second, how can I ever be annoyed with someone for saying something when they were asleep? How could I possibly allow what an unconscious person said affect me…
To do that would be an unconscious act. Or if you were conscious of it, then it would be insane to self harm. So there’s no benefit for me in it, making it easy to avoid, while I remain conscious.
When you know this, and more importantly – When you live to this… Then it’s obviously insane to let another affect you… This is one thing to learn and a whole different thing to live to… So you may wish to reconsider this some more…
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Sure people can catch you off guard, but when you allow your structured thinking to do its stuff… Then sanity is assured.
Because I am now predominantly conscious it is my choice entirely what goes on inside my mind, no one else’s.
The world can say what it want’s but inside my mind, that’s all mine and I will allow all ideas and opinions in to be evaluated in an unemotional way…
But ONLY I will pick and choose what gets to stay and therefore what gets acted upon.
What this means is that without any effort I can hold many opposing views in my mind without internal conflict. Simply because I can look at them in an unemotional / detached way.
According to F. Scott Fitzgerald, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”
As I can hold many, I guess I pass.
But all I am doing is observing without judgement and looking for what benefits me.
So learning the structured thinking techniques to do this qualifies you too to have a first-rate intelligence…
Maybe it’s worthy of your attention now…
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What other people say and think is entirely their business…
It is not mine. So it is OK for me to be wrong.
What they say may be of benefit to me… IF I have time or IF I want to evaluate what they say that is… Then it may actually be of benefit to me…
But this is all for me to decide.
What others say and do is pretty much nothing to me unless I choose it is… It is more like raw jumbled data, which I sift through to find the gems.
So when dealing with a person you dislike, find irritating, or like… Dealing with anyone in fact, then the thing to ALWAYS consider is, why has this person been sent here to me now?
They are there for a reason as that is the way the Universe works. The reason though could be all sorts of things…
For example, it could be that…
They are there to help you practice letting go of what they say.
They could be there so you can practice evaluating what they say and finding if there are any benefits for you in their opinion.
They may be there to slow you down and make you think.
They may be there to give you a piece of advice about something you are going to be doing in a few days or weeks time…
…Because they may be an expert at some obscure subject and so their opinion is not opinion but is in fact counsel…
And in a few weeks time you are going to be faced with a decision and thanks to this counsel you’ve just ‘coincidentally’ been given (by accident) you are able to make the correct decision…
Why did this coincidence or accident happen?
Because your subconscious mind knew you needed this bit of counsel to make sure you went the right way when the decision came up…
Phew… we went a little quantum there for a second…
The point is…
The person is there for a reason which helps you in some way, and it’s our job to extract the reason, or just consider possible reasons if we choose to…
Mainly they are there for practice at raising our level of consciousness…
So I ask you again, how can I be angry at an unconscious person who is helping me raise my level of consciousness…
How can I be angry at anyone, or be in fear of me being wrong…
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So today I’d like you to consider all the people you meet or bump into, or affect you in anyway…
They are there to help and to teach you in some way…
You are the creator of your world!!!
So you are creating these lessons…
If you learn them, then you raise your level of consciousness…
If you fail to learn them, then the lessons will need to be repeated 🙂
What lessons have you asked to be sent to you today?
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Have fun with that one, there’s a fair few ‘depth charges’ in there for you 🙂
… And the other thing to do today is to continue reading or listening to the first five chapters of Creating A Bug Free Mind, you can get them here.
I’ll be back soon with another Footstep… I’m going to give you next several of the videos from my Success Made Simple series, so I think you’re going to like these…
Best wishes,
Andy
P.S. It is one thing to learn this and know it as you do now, it is another thing entirely to live it as a way of life.
To become this person who continuously raises their level of consciousness you need to develop a discipline in reminding yourself daily, to seek lessons and grow.
Failure to do that will mean falling back into lazy habits of thinking.
I designed the Bug Free Mind Process to make sure that you never again fall back into lazy habits of thinking.
If the time is right for you then begin it now and make this year your year.
Amen thank you
Andy, thank you for this timely as many seem to simply ‘not’ understand their surroundings due to the waking sleep natural man isn’t awake to. This conversation is very in-depth and as you said contains depth-charges. I am into the 2nd book now and see how obviously hidden the truth is and how what you point out makes our lives richer in more than one fashion. I appreciate you and the thought process you break down along the way as I take in and utilize the BFM process. Thank you for your dedication and perspective, Cheers.
I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated this footstep. I have an individual that I work with that is very critical to the point of bullying. Most of the time I am able to here what he says and dismiss it when it has no merit, but often he seems to focus his comments as a condescending challenge and downright insulting. Other than continuing to maintain my higher vibrational way of thinking- hard to do when you are working hard, know you have done a good job and he catches you off guard, and just let it go for the narcisitic idiot he is on a personal level, are there any suggestions you can give that could help dealing with this type of person.
Could you maybe do a footstep that focuses on bullying and insults. That is harder to deal with than criticsm, although on a level similar. Bullying and insults are a lot more personal esp when delivered by someone in a position above where you work, but not someone you have to directly answer to but work requires you to interact.
Hi Verna,
Yes, go through the Process and it will teach you how to handle, manage, ignore and if need be dismantle this sort of person.
My son came home from school one day and told me he was being bullied. I taught him how to handle the people and highlight their weakness so that it provoked an incident whereby their bullying would be exposed to the teachers. He did exactly as told and it resulted in him growing his self-esteem, looking good to his peers, one of the two bully’s being expelled and the other suspended.
Master yourself and you also become a master of everyone else, that is how to handle bully’s. I short-cutted it for my son, but he has a LOT of structure to his thoughts anyway. Just go through the Process and within a few weeks you’ll see a lot of changes in how you deal with this person and others… Some of the time you will not have to do anything to deal with them 🙂
Best wishes,
Andy
Bang on the point as usual. Chris
<3 Thank you for this footstep. It's a beautiful coincidence to think about this and start the process with the books that arrived today. I'm excited to take it up a notch and read in your books everyday.
This is fantastic stuff. Very powerful, I agree with it, yet I have a problem.
You said, “What other people say or think is entirely their business…”
That is not true. When you are married to an unconscious, negative person, as I am in my life––my husband, who is living in a mind filled with fear, gloom and doom. This year we lost a steady income, and now his dominate thoughts are raining down destruction on us, this is a very big problem.
The Bible says, “…a house divided cannot stand.” Of late, I have come so close to leaving. He’s a good man, but his anger and negativity are working at destroy our life. I have drifted away from Saltori thinking, it has been a struggle to get back.
IWe are a mess. If what the Bible says is true, we will never, ever be like-minded, so perhaps it is a hopeless situation.
Hi Judi Ann,
Yes I do know what you mean. Unfortunately we do have to either live with the choices we previously made, or not live with it, or attempt to correct the situation.
A friend of mine who first read the book in 2010 said to me that all the people who said they were reading my books weren’t, as if they were then there would be stacks of people getting divorced. Over the years it has definitely been proved to be true that the books were the tipping point for people in their relationships. However, the vast majority of people healed their relationships thanks to it instead of divorcing.
I could write an entire book on solving this issue you and so many others have, but I don’t have time to do that right now. So my suggestion would be to begin the Process (just get the first book and you will see things a lot clearer), then after a few weeks you will be able to be around your husbands negativity and NOT have it affect you so much. After a while it won’t affect you at all.
From that point you will be being the change you want to see in your world. This will have an effect on your husband, it will either be the light he is drawn to, or he’ll pull away from you. But either way your life will have become much more enjoyable.
Most are drawn to the light, and if you can guide him into picking it up from time to time then all the wounds can be easily healed. Don’t force it though, he has to see the benefit for himself.
Best wishes,
Andy
Thank you for this information. It makes Alot of sense….
How true these words are, I have a house mate/girl friend who keeps pulling me backwards & I keep saying no, putting my foot down, each day I find myself fighting the forward mind to not go backwards. Your words to me confirm my mind is on the right path, thank you.
These are fantastic supplements to the course. I doubt I am grasping everything that are in these Footsteps but I am able to grasp so much more because I have read and are rereading both books and audios. You can get so much more from these if you have already started the course. And I know you will get more every time you visit these Footsteps.
Bang on the money and very timely – as usual 🙂
You are brilliant, Andy Shaw!
Awesome thanks for the sharing…
It was fantastic as always, however you deleted my comment, why?
Hi Judi,
I doubt I deleted it, probably just not answered it yet 🙂
Best wishes,
Andy
Thanks so much Andy. so well put. so many people have put this idea in a way that was annoying to hear. The way you have put this is so clear and non threatening. very liberating. as I was reading this I kept saying, this is so smart, just so smart. thanks Andy
Hi Andy, Brill as always. Thats why I need you to Educate me re Mindset. Please do a Footstep. Thing is, I do follow and believe what you say. As am sure, many others do.
Hey, have a great evening, JJ.
great i u nderstood this.Please could you write about ” how to control the emotions to see or hear anything without judgement or emotion??Thanks
Hi Joao,
No problem, I’ve just written a full article to answer your question. It should appear in the articles section shortly called: How to control your emotions without judgement
Best wishes,
Andy
Hi Andy,
The point on bullying is very important both to a lot of unfortunate people and also relevant to my life as well. I recall back in 2007 when I got opportunity to go outside my country for working as a sales and business development executive in Muscat, Oman. For the first few months of my stay there it was really good. Life was peaceful. Boss was a Vaishnavite Hindu from ISKON. He is very much against non-veg and made a issue there. However, I managed to stay on my way and afterwards he did not oppose me. Life was going good when trouble struck. A punjabi employee came back from vacation to our office and he was a hell of a person. He was a perfect bully and since I was on a more passive tone his wrath fell upon me. Again he was also jealous as I was then having a good relationship with the supervisor and boss. He actually made my life hell. I was also not prepared to face this challenge then. I had no other solution than to leave office and come back home. The next bully I faced is in 2015 in a smaller yet serious manner. At that time I had already decided to quit the job when the bully joined. But the short term bullying was also very enduring but I think was able to manage him. Bullying now has not yet left me. I am eager to read ABFM for a final solution and banish bullying lesson forever from my life.
very reassureing,great imfo…
Such wise words and so timely for me, I used this information to deal with a situation that presented itself in the last hour. Amazing. Thanks Andy.