How to control your emotions without judgement

~ Your mindset guarantees your success or failure in all you do ~ Andy Shaw

power-of-awareness-1


I was recently asked on the site if I could write some more about, ‘how to control the emotions to see or hear anything without judgement or emotion.’

So here’s a little more on that…

Firstly before this can be achieved with ease you have to be able to switch off your thoughts. If you cannot then all of what I share below will not work. So using the techniques in the early chapters of Creating A Bug Free Mind will teach you the all important control method.

Without this, then when a stray thought wraps you up in fear, worry, doubt etc… Then you are left trapped in a chaotic thought pattern. Whereas when you know how to silence it, you become aware that chaos has begun and you simply silence it to take back control.

So moving on assuming you now have this ability to control your mind, after all it is your mind and you are supposedly the controller of your thoughts…

Consider, if you are not the controller, then do you think it is likely that this is inhibiting your ability to get and lead the life you desire…

If you cannot silence your thoughts and you don’t think it’s affecting your results in life then good luck with continuing to think that, as you are going to really need a lot of luck to get what you want from life.

I trust now I’ve once again made it clear about the importance of the ability to silence your thoughts?

Moving on… For real this time :-)bad-reaction 2

There are times when people can say with or without intention things that can instantly cause us to feel pain, annoyance, anger, frustration as we have all experienced. It can be to do with any number of things…

Maybe the day has had a number of minor problems and then this one tips it way over the edge and chaos now reigns. Or any number of reasons why…

But this sort of thing can only happen when we are not present, as if we are present then it is instantly seen as just data, and no conclusion is drawn as to whether or not it is bad or useful data. When we are present we sit and watch, and are just aware of the data without it causing a reaction in us.

When we are stressed, in a hurry, have been knocked by something else then presence slips away and we are exposed to potential day to day things upsetting our balance.

If that happens then the key is awareness to it and then the quick application of the off-switch to regain control and re-establish balance and presence. Once that has been used then the data can be evaluated without emotional attachment or the need to judge.

If after that your mind is still attempting to force judgement one way, then this itself is a sign to consider it, and give yourself some pattern interrupting questions…

  • Why am I thinking this person is wrong?
  • Why am I rushing to judge?
  • Why do I feel the need to be right?
  • Why can’t I just let what is right become self evident so I do not need to judge?

Then considering your reasons why allows you time to quell the emotional response. From that point more data can be added without the need to judge, and without the need for emotional attachment.

This sounds very ‘Vulcan’, like you become emotionless to situations. In some cases it’s true you do, simply because through presence and awareness you’ve seen and felt that there is no benefit in you getting involved.

At this point it frees you up from being attached to the need to be right. You stop seeing the person who was initially causing pain as an issue to be resolved. Instead you begin to see them with compassion as you are aware that they are probably unconscious to the pain they were inflicting. And even if they were conscious to it then you feel compassion towards anyone who is so lost as to need to inflict pain…

emotional-chaos-2

This means over time that you become better and better at avoiding the emotional chaos and the need to judge. You also take more and more steps towards to becoming predominantly present.

This doesn’t happen overnight! And if it does happen overnight, then it will almost certainly fool you into thinking you’ve got it…

No, you temporarily got it. Getting it once, and getting it a few times does not mean you have this ability. It must be practiced for the rest of your life for you to have it.

Currently I have it… This does not mean that one day I will not have lost it. Continuous vigilance is required through structured thought to keep ‘having it’.

Personally I have had and continue to have experiences where I do not get sucked in at all in extremely difficult situations, and then over react to tiny insignificant ones.

However, when I catch myself through awareness I am able to stop, silence my thinking (without even thinking about it now), and then order and detachment have been restored and regular life can proceed without the pain. Plus I am grateful that the incident happened to help me get better in this area.

The more you can do this, then the more your consciousness raises.

The answers to your problems lie in achieving a state of mind where your current world problems simply cease to exist. This is what the whole Bug Free Mind Process teaches.

Best wishes,

Andy

 

14 thoughts on “How to control your emotions without judgement”

  1. Virginia Reeves says:

    - Give yourself some pattern interrupting questions…
    – Then considering your reasons why allows you time to quell the emotional response. From that point more data can be added without the need to judge, and without the need for emotional attachment.

    These are two important points. They will reduce anger, frustration, and the “my opinion is right” outlook.
    Thanks for sharing Andy.

  2. Hina Khodiyara says:

    Your answer was timely, as I was veering off course today. Really helpful, thank you.

  3. joelle gavin says:

    Brilliant Andy! Absolutely brilliant! So well put.

  4. Sally says:

    Thanks. We are all a piece of art in progress. Never ending.
    I needed that reminder from you today. Thanks again

  5. Diane says:

    What if its not about other people but those stupid annoying things that happen in the moment like bumping that sore finger or spilling food on yourself etc that cause the reflex rage. Would this still work?

    1. Andy Shaw says:

      Hi Diane,

      It’s similar. I cover that sort of thing in details in the first part of the A Bug Free Mind Process.

      Best wishes,

      Andy

  6. Kevin says:

    Andy,

    You said, “This sounds very ‘Vulcan’, like you become emotionless to situations. In some cases it’s true you do, simply because through presence and awareness you’ve seen and felt that there is no benefit in you getting involved.”

    What a fantastic way to stay uninvolved with political and religious arguments that people want to suck you into… when you know that it will only create hostility and frustration. If you don’t want either, because it doesn’t benefit you, you simply “Go Vulcan.”

    1. Jurgy says:

      Kevin,
      Most assuredly, you will live long and prosper.

      Jurgy

  7. Andy Coates says:

    Hey Andy,

    I think I must have brought this to me , as i have to attend my Mother’s Funeral at the weekend and this involves me being around my older siblings who for some reason still see me as ( the little brother , so what can he know!) I am 53 by the way!. Anyway they have done and said things over the years that have had trouble hearing and seeing their actions, that to me are just abhorrent ! in respect of money and things ! But hey that’s up to them , the universe will reimburse them of that I am sure. They have also done some great stuff for mum along the way as they live quite near and I am 400 miles away in Cornwall ( from Yorkshire) although I did sell my endowment to raise the funds and to get a mortgage to build a bungalow for her has she was disabled. so I guess I did my bit so to speak . So I know that we will have to discuss, this property of which I own 25% of and is all legally done via the solicitors etc. So anyway I will have to keep my emotions in check ( or even place them in a box for now) while discussing the other monies that will need to be sorted out. Mom’s Items have already kind of disappeared over the years to which no one knows where to ! mmmmm right! although I did take a table / magazine rack of no real monetary value but that fact that mom had made this when she was young meant everything to me. I also have my Dad’s work tools ( that smell of Machine oil) ! . like I said the universe will deal with the other missing ( so called valuable stuff) . so your timely reminder to leave emotions at the door is well accepted and received.

    Thanks

    Andy Coates

    1. Andy Shaw says:

      Thank you

  8. Sheri Johnson Purdon says:

    Thanks Andy you have come to the rescue once again. I haven’t been spending much time on my growth lately feeling that everything is going well. Recently, I reached a new level in my conscious state and have asked for the lessons that need to be learned, be present, in order for me to grow. I seem to be plagued with situations where I am faced with men who show me anger. I have been contemplating what it is that I am doing to cause these moments. But you have made me realize that they are unconscious and I need to gain control of my fear and judgments. This is a lesson I recall from previous lessons. Thank you again for your words of wisdom!

  9. Nikki says:

    Yes Andy, wise words indeed.

    And @Sheri, I experienced the same thing this morning. I judged and felt indignant that a man who betrayed me can flaunt his success and marriage in the local newspaper today after he abused me.

    I don’t know what to do but cried out and I read this post to feel calm again. I need to practise to heal.

    Andy how do I apply A Bug Free Mind to heal my heart and to feel compassionate towards people?

    1. Andy Shaw says:

      Hi Nikki,

      Through Acceptance and Surrender. Those are little words but have truly massive implications. I fully teach how to do both in two chapters in the process. They work like a catch all and slowly (moments for some, days/weeks/months for some) change how you think over to this way of thinking. Which means you remove all pain, or as the Buddha put it, an end to suffering. What happens is then you can create no pain and no pain can be caused to you. From this point it is actually difficult to not feel compassionately towards others. Which means it is easier to feel compassion, and we are designed to automatically take the easy way, so in the end it becomes how we think without thought.

      Best wishes,

      Andy

  10. surendra says:

    dear Andy sir, I am your student of how to think. let this move free flow in the market. somewhere i wrote put the cup on. now time to turn the table. or do as you love….. you are always an inspiration… thank you from heart

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